Our Summer Vacation

America's Next Top Model
Cycle 11 Episode 4

The Wal-Mart and Swimsuit Edition aka
A Redneck's Dream

So much was crammed into last night's episode that there wasn't much time for cat fights back at the model house and for that I am grateful.

We start off with the obligatory bus trip home where the girl that almost got sent packing, in this case Isis, tells the others how she was glad it wasn't her and voices her insecurity. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I know Isis isn't technically a girl, but for these purposes I will always refer to Isis in the feminine. Miss Jay is confusing enough now that he has apparently gone butch.

The girls walk in the house and are surprised to see Tyra sitting in their living room. Tyra does the “I got boobs and a booty and I did just fine” speech for the teens watching at home with body dimorphism and eating disorders while the girls munch on pizza. The expected squeals of delight are released when the girls are told their makeovers are imminent. If memory serves, makeovers were done when there were less than 10 girls left in previous cycles. I guess the budget has increased or they enjoy tormenting as many of the contestants as possible. We are then subjected to a bizarre Snow White on crack skit where Miss Jay enters looking like the old witch offering poisoned apples to Tyra who is then kissed and carted off by Mr. Jay looking like he escaped from the Enchanted tiki room at Disneyland.

When the girls arrive for their makeovers they are informed that they won't know what they are getting until it is done. The mirrors are covered and the anxiety ramps up. Tyra appears in the bottom left of the screen describing the makeover for the individual girls dressed as a Diva Fairy Queen in lamé. She's also wearing light blue contacts that give her the appearance of having no irises - creepy. I think that overall everyone turned out for the better. The best had to be Samantha. She went from shaggy to chic with just a cut and a color. My least favorite of the bunch were Majorie, Clark and Elina.

Let's talk about Elina for a minute. If you're going to try out for one of the more successful reality series then it would serve you to do some research. Every girl who has made the critical error of saying that they are not open to change and that they only want this or that kind of hair always, ALWAYS, gets the outrageous hairdo. The most dramatic had to be the Texas beauty queen that had her beautiful chestnut tresses buzzed to put her in her pageant place, but there is one every season and this time it was Elina. Elina comes off as elitist – she knows more, is more cool and hates her mother. Maybe she is trying to emulate Angelina Jolie whom she has been compared to repeatedly this season. She gets a weave, but not just any weave. She gets a red, super curly mid length hairdo that I think looks ridiculous, but makes for good entertainment. We shared her turmoil of denial, anger and acceptance with this beauty as she struggled through the stages of coiffure quietus.

Tyra-Mail! That oh so annoying contrivance ANTM uses to give a misleading hint about an upcoming event. Thank the gods that the producers have stopped the practice of having all the girls read the missive together. Now apparently one girl gets to read it and they all chime in “love, Tyra.”

Does the challenge involve a high fashion designer or require ridiculous physical prowess? No, it's so much better! The challenge involves a product placement! Yay! We viewers are so lucky, we don't get one shameless plug but two. I'm all a quiver just recalling the details. The Model Bus pulls up in front of the Home of High Fashion we in the south call Wal-Mart. Nigel Barker's wife and Sutan, the make up artist who has starred in previous Cycles in drag, tell our girls what's going on. The girls have to put on their make-up then ad-lib a 30 second commercial for the CoverGirl. This ought to be good.

Surprisingly, they were pretty good. Stinkers in the crowd included Marjorie who referred to the retailer as Walgreens, Analeigh and Brittany gone ghetto, and Elina who stood up and basically said “this is the crap some lame girls put on their face.” Other goofs included forgetting the name of the product and stammering, but not everyone can talk at the drop of a hat. The biggest surprise had to be Hannah who stood up there and nailed a perfect line that included the product name and sounded genuine while looking cute. I would have never expected that much spunk out of the little backwoods mouse. Good for her. Samantha was also great and came in a close second.

Back to the house, more Tyra-Mail! which suggests swimsuits. For once, the mail was right. Swimsuits are the garment du jour for this shoot and the designer, Susan Holmes , who is also a super model will supervise the shoot. Mr. Jay is not going to be on site to give pointers and suggestions because he wants to see how the girls do on their own, but will hang out in make-up and give support and answer questions. The photographer, Russel James , shot Tyra's first SI edition and he a along with Susan are directing the girls.

Pretty girls in bikinis, Malibu beach and an experienced photographer end up making this shoot fairly drama free. Some make it look easy like Marjorie and Samantha, while others struggle. Overall none were bad. Here's the order in which the judges selected the photos.

Elina
Lauren Brie
Samantha
Mckey
Sheena
Joclyn
Marjorie
Clark
Isis
Hannah
Analeigh - almost axed
Brittany - gone

It must suck to be very pretty but unphotogenic. As Miss Jay says, she will go on to be a very wealthy NFL wife and hopefully live happily ever after.

Our Top Model in Action this week featured Lisa from Cycle 9. I would never have recognized her from that shot of her attacking the catwalk in Fashion Week. Very chic, very nice. Whitney sounded phony as ever in her latest ad. She has the look, but is unable to relate her information without sounding incredibly fake. Good thing most models aren't expected to talk.

I missed the preview for next week so I have no idea what's coming up next!

Family Vacation
Walt Disney World
Orlando, FL
August 2007


We took our family vacation to Walt Disney World Orlando last August, 2007. It was the first visit for everyone in the family except me and it had been over 25 years since my last visit. We decided to head over to the Magic Kingdom our first evening in town to catch the SpectroMagic Parade. The crowd gathered, anticipation built and my daughter was practically vibrating by the time the street lights dimmed.

An arching firework display shot across Cinderella’s castle and suddenly Tinkerbell burst forth and started “flying” towards the crowd. At that moment by daughter turned to me while bouncing up and down and exclaimed “She’s real, Mommy! She’s real!” I will remember that moment until my dying day. Disney really did make a dream come true that night.

Later on during the end of the parade the character, Ursula, from the Little Mermaid, came close to where we were standing and spoke in our general direction. Since that moment my daughter has been completely enamored with Ursula. It wasn’t easy, but I found a beanie baby Ursula licensed by Disney from years back and that doll has been my child’s constant companion ever since. I explained to my daughter that Ursula is considered a villain and most people don’t like her. She explained to me that if Ursula was around, she would be her friend and Ursula wouldn’t want to be mean anymore. Don’t you just love it?




We made reservations at the Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique and DD got the Hair, Makeup and Nails package (we already had the Aurora gown.) That was the best deal in town! They put enough goo in her hair and fixed in such a way that I didn’t have to mess with her hair the whole time we were in Orlando and that was such a vacation for me! She wore her princess outfit the whole time and was addressed as Princess by the staff. They gave her little trinkets and stickers and she still has them and treasures them dearly.





We by no means planned it, but it just so happened that as we were leaving MGM on the second day, we saw this orangey-red ball rising in the sky. A young man nearby pointed and shouted “It’s the Space Shuttle!” Everyone that was headed for the shuttles stopped simultaneously and watched in awe. I snapped a photo with my phone camera, but needless to say, it isn’t a great shot. My daughter was the first to get bored and inquired about our dinner plans. Oh well, can’t please everybody!


I would have had a great photo of the Space Shuttle had I not lost my camera while in MGM. The park staff was so great in helping my try to find it, but it is gone forever. I still have my memories though.


Even though it was hot and humid (Florida + August = Muggy) we had a terrific time and can’t wait to go back.

BeachStreet USA
Virginia Beach Oceanfront
August 25, 2008















Down near 20th Street at the Oceanfront the elite Performing Company of the Rhythm of Ireland School of Irish Dance performed as a part of the city of Virginia Beach's Beach Street USA for the fortunate citizens and tourists passing along Atlantic Ave . They were joined by Celtica, a local minstral group, that affects a medieval air.


I recognized John Ickes right away (since he once earned the grand title of "Best Customer Ever" one Christmas season at my workplace for his unending patience and cheerfulness during the peak of the season) yet was somewhat taken aback that he was performing along side our Irish gals since the last time I saw him he was sporting a kilt and playin' the bagpipes. He piped Diana Gabaldon (one of my favorite writers) into the lecture hall at the Virginia Beach Library Week in April 2007. Members of Celtica were also present at the book signing following her presentation and accompanied John's lovely singing voice with a hammered dulcimer and concert harp.

I recognized both of these ladies, but alas, do not know their names and for that I am sorry. I hope to catch up with John sometime soon and will update this blog once I have the info to give credit where it is due. The ladies were without their lovely instruments due to the limitations of the venue, but provided their melodious voices instead and were accompanied by 3 other individuals I have not seen before. They opened the performance with a beautifully harmonious song about nothing in particular. One of those tunes that allows you to enjoy the sound of the voices without really caring about what is being said. The troupe was dressed in period clothing and they had to be very warm because it was in the high 80s with high humidity at 7:30pm. None of them seem to mind, though.

Here's a clip I took with my digital camera while at the performance. My memory card ran out about 5 seconds before the end of the reel - but this shows the best of the best that night.


You might notice that the girls are wearing less-than-traditional Irish Dancing garb. If you've never worn an Irish Dancing costume, you might be surprised to discover they weigh 5 to 10 pounds and that's not counting the wig! All that interfacing and embroidery adds up to some serious weight, doncha know. The school director, Mrs. Debbie Bristol, also mentioned that the costumes were more appropriate to an informal setup that Beach Street USA allows.

The dancers and singers took turns entertaining the crowd. The older girls displayed their hardshoe prowess and the younger girls demonstrated a soft-shoe reel. The challenges of dancing outdoors are compounded when the stage is unlevel, yet the the girls were fleet of foot and and looked as good as any show you could catch at Busch Gardens!



There was a hobby-horse joust complete with swimming pool noodle lances and even a maypole dance. The little ones needed a little help in manning the ribbons, but the pole had a fine weave by the end of the night.

The performance lasted about 30 minutes and was well worth the effort of coming from Larkspur down to the Oceanfront. Since we parked at the municipal parking lot, we had several blocks to traverse to get back to the car.

We passed a middle-aged blond playing a fierce steel drum tune and then a Filipino couple singing "Cheeseburger in Paradise" while headed for the ice cream stand. Now that's not something you see everyday.

A large crowd had gathered around another street performer and my son and I were making a wide path around him when a large plume of flame shot into the air. That got my kids' attention so we stopped and took a look. This guy juggled with stuff on fire - while balancing a board on a 4 inch pipe; balanced a burning baseball bat thing on this chin and spit fire. While he was doing all his pyro tricks he was cracking insult jokes at himself and the crowd. He was good.

At this point we were "in for a penny, in for a pound" and decided to stay for the magic show being held at the 24th Street stage. Poor guy, his first trick and his prop breaks. The magic cabinet broke a wheel and he did a good job of covering it up by sticking his foot underneath. My children enjoyed the show, but it was pretty high-school talent show quality for me. He did a good job of including a kid from the crowd and did the obligatory levitation trick and I was ready to head home at the conclusion of the show.

All and all - it was a great deal since I paid $0 for all that entertainment. The total evening was less than $10 - $1 for parking and $8 for ice cream. I have got to remember to check out the Beach Street USA offerings more closely next year.

The Verizon Wireless American Music Festival

Virginia Beach, VA
August 30, 2008

A fortunate chain of events led to me winning free Passport Pins for the American Music Festival in Virginia Beach over the Labor Day weekend. I check up on local news almost everyday with Pilotonline through HamptonRoads.com and followed a link that said “enter to win.” I rarely win anything but figured the worse that could happen would be a new stream of spam, but threw caution to the wind and clicked the little button. The very next day a very nice lady called me at work and told me I won 4 passes which were good for all the paid events all weekend. How cool is that? Even more amazing was my husband agreeing to go to the Billy Idol concert on August 30. Not because my husband dislikes the rocker, but because we had spent Saturday at Busch Gardens with our kids and niece.

By the time we dropped the kids off with my sister and shuffled over to the Beach the warm up act was long gone and the stage was set for the main event. The Verizon Wireless American Music Festival in Virginia Beach is held outdoors right on the beach at 5th street and it's a great venue as long as the weather cooperates. The night was warm and a bit muggy, but overall a good night for a concert.

My Hubby went in search of festival food while I searched for the best place to set up the camp chairs that was upwind of the Port-o-John village and far enough away from the beer tents that we wouldn't have drunks stumbling over us. If we had been creative like the couple in front of us and carved out our own sand sofa we could have saved schlepping our chairs the 8 or so blocks from where we parked. I would like to give a special thank you to Janis at the Mail Depot for giving me her resident parking pass which made life soooooo much easier. Many folks brought blankets, beach towels and cardboard while the rest chose to stand. Neither my husband nor I wanted to be in the thick of the crowd, so we ended up about 2 blocks away from the stage with a great view of the jumbo-tron stage screen, but could see nothing of stage except the superstructure. I said I had come to hear the music and didn't really care if I could see him(early on that is.)

DH navigates through the crowd with warm Diet Coke and brats. Not good – but edible and the show begins. I was a little confused at first. Who was this man with the dark hair and all the clothes? What's with the button down shirt, vest and coat? The Idol I remember had bleached white hair and wore little other than tight leather pants. Here's the only clear photo I got of him during the whole evening. Still looks damn good, don't he? He sounded exactly the same and there's something to be said for updating your look (see guitarist comments below.) He starts of the show with 4 of his better known hits: Cradle of Love, Dancing with Myself, Hot in the City and Flesh for Fantasy. Idol sounded in good voice and the band was in rhythm and in tune but I couldn't help but feel that the intensity level was somewhere around 4. It was like rock on Prozac. I remarked to my husband that I remembered Billy being a much more fierce performer and my husband remarked that “we're all getting old.” Gee thanks, honey!

Observations made of the crowd during the first four tunes:

To my right there is a group of folks standing and talking and dancing a little bit. Within the group there is a 40-something year old guy that looks like he would be more suited to a Buffet concert than the current offering going by the loud Hawaiian shirt and baggy shorts. He gets inspired to do a bit of punk slam dancing which left his date uncomfortably looking around to see if anyone was watching while she continued to do the white-woman shuffle – you know the move where you bounce from one foot to the other because you don't know how to dance. Yep, that one. He stopped once he realized he was entertaining the crowd in a way other than the way he intended. Yeah, I was laughing – dude, you were ridiculous.

There were a lot more kids at this concert than I expected but none of them were obnoxious and for that I am grateful. A girl most likely 8 to 10 years old was paying attention to the act rather than playing in the sand like most of the other kids her age and got into the chant at the end of Flesh for Fantasy with the adults around her. I have to say it is a little unsettling to watch a pre-pubescent girl shouting “Flesh!-Flesh!-Flesh!” while pumping her fist in the air. I'm just going to console myself with the notion that the girl had no idea what she was talking about – I soooooo hope that is true.

After the set of well known music Billy introduces a song from his most recent CD, The Very Best of Billy Idol: Idolize Yourself, (couldn't think of a longer title? sheesh) called John Wayne. It was an okay tune – but I wasn't familiar with it so it didn't do anything for me.

During this rather slow period it strikes me odd that Billy Idol is the headliner for the American Music Festival. Billy Idol aka William Broad is from Middlesex, UK, and was a part of the 2nd British Invasion of the 1980s. Although I find it strange he is here to epitomize American Music there is certainly no disdain for the performer on my part. My fellow graduates of the MHS Class of 1985 all loved Idol and did our best to copy his lip snarl that made him oh-so-sexy back in the day.

He followed that with another of his songs that seemed to be better known by the crowd around me called New Future Weapon. He gave a shout out to a female pilot with an NAS Oceana connection, I presume, that sounded like he read it directly off a card, but I bet the gal got a real kick out of it. I know I would.

We're about 50 minutes into the show and Billy gives us another old favorite, Eyes Without a Face. The Sand Sofa couple decide to get up and give us a bit of dirty dancing. Thanks folks, I really could have done without that bit of magic under the stars, but whatcha gonna do?

I should mention that by this time Billy has shed the coat (that came off after song number 2 ) and the vest and has changed into a t-shirt. He had my sympathy, it has to be unbearably hot with the humidity and stage lights. Shortly after Eyes Idol takes about a 15 minute break while the lead guitarist demonstrates his skills. It starts out rockin' but ends up being a classical guitar solo. The guitarist is a top notch player, but really needs to find a stylist to pull him kicking and screaming out of the late 80's hair-band style. He didn't look cool – he looked comical. But, he is up there performing with Billy Idol and I'm not, so what the hell do I know?

After his break Idol comes back hitting it a little harder. White Wedding gets the crowd rockin' and he gives us some more new stuff while building the anticipation for his signature song, Rebel Yell. I can't stand it anymore and tell my husband that I am heading closer to the stage to try and get a good photo to post on my reunion website. I must have taken 2 dozen shots but not a one of them came out clear. This photo is the best of the worst shots - but I know what it is! Billy stayed true to his roots and by the end of Rebel Yell he was shirtless and sweaty with his fist high in the air. At 50+ Billy is looking awesome! Everyone was on their feet and having a great time. I'd seen what I wanted to see and figured it was time to find the husband and head out before the crowd.

I get back to our site just in time to see a woman staggering by me with two giant Big Gulp refillable cups. I'm sure there was nothing in there but a Slurpee, (and a fifth of something.) She is obviously feeling no pain and lucky me, I just happen to be looking her way when she bends over to put them on the ground and get a half moon. That was nearly enough to make the nasty brat come back for a visit. She fell/sat on the sand and swayed gently to the music. DH and I were debating whether to stick it out and stay for the fireworks until Big Gulp's date showed up and started grinding his pelvis into the back of her head. Neither of us had to say a word to the other, we just started packing up the chairs.

Just as we got to the stairs leading up to the boardwalk we heard the beginning strains of “Mony, Mony” We remained there until the song finished and started our trek back to the car. We were almost at Atlantic Ave, but could still hear the music. It must have been clear to everyone that the concert was over when Billy started to introduce the band. So and so on drums, Whatshisface on bass guitar, Big Hair on lead guitar and me - I'm Billy F*ckin' Idol! Then the fireworks went off.

I don't think anyone told Mr. Idol we have an ordinance here at the beach regarding profanity. I snickered about that last bit all the way back to the car.