America's Next Top Model
Cycle 11 Episode 8

Can we clear the air of something before the recap? Being cold and stiff with no personal charm and being a mouse with quirky body movements are not European personality traits. There are plenty of home grown American girls that are the same way. If you want to piss and moan that Europeans are different, pack it up and haul your skinny butt over the pond and sign up for Europe's Next Top Model, okay?

This episode was full of gay men tonight (in the immortal words of Seinfeld – not that anything is wrong with that) and the girls were almost an afterthought. The Swirl and Twirl twins were on hand to demonstrate to our lovelies how to work a garment. I did appreciate the point they made in that the model is there to sell the garment – not simply to look pretty. The ridiculously flamboyant James St. James was also there to demonstrate the challenge. The object is to show off the clothing while remaining invisible. This was achieved by putting the girls in green suits that appear invisible when shown on television. Personally, I thought they all sucked. Elina won the challenge simply because she had the easiest dress to demonstrate. Marjorie might have been confused with Isis (were she still in the competition) when her dress dropped off her bust. Joslyn got confused and must have thought she was trying out for JB's Gallery of Girls and the rest of the group did the swirl and twirl thing very poorly.

Elina chose Marjorie and Analeigh (the whine sisters) to share in her photo shoot prize. Samantha pouted and thought it was unfair that an atheist got to do a Christmas shoot. I felt like I was transported back to 7th grade with that comment but, as the competition tightens the bitchiness heightens. The cat fight in the kitchen was the usual crapola du jour and Sheena basically tells them to stop using their immigrant status as a crutch. Go girl and set them straight. We've had women from Europe including Natasha, Cycle 8 and Katarzyna, Cycle 10 who didn't suffer under the oppression of their upbringing. If you want to talk about suppression of women lets remember Nenna Cycle 6 and Fatima, Cycle 10 who grew up in Africa where circumcision of women is considered normal. Girls, it wasn't the culture of your youth that put that stick up your butt. You did that all by yourselves.

CoverGirl commercial. Those are always fun! Whitney from Cycle 10 is there to help coach the girls which is odd since her commercial was pretty crummy as I recall. The girls get a teleprompter to help them along which is something new. I guess the producers are tired of seeing the dumb stare and expletives when the model forgets her lines. Analeigh took to the commercial like a duck to water and nailed her lines while looking good. Sheena went a little on the hoochie side but still had a good ad. Then we have the rest. Samantha looked awkward and inexperienced. Marjorie was jerking her head around and wasn't believable. Miss Jay made the comment that she looked like a chicken and I agree. McKey was over made up and looked like a clown, but that wasn't her fault. She was awkward and not smooth but managed better than Elina and Joslyn. Elina was stiff and phony and Joslyn was a hand flicking, winking mess. She was battling a stomach bug, but that didn't make up for that horrible performance.

The CoverGirl in Action this week was none other than Whitney from Cycle 10. It appears to me that she has gained another 20 pounds for these ads, but she looks the same size as she was in the last Cycle in the preview for next week. Maybe she has to appear larger for “full figure” work. She is definitely a print model. She comes off phony as hell in person.

Panel. I thought it was kind of tacky for Tyra to make a big to do over the fact that the girls are headed to Amsterdam before announcing the cut for the day. Nice way to rub salt into the wound of the next cast off. It was a sure thing that Analeigh would be called first since it was discussed in panel that she nailed the Best CoverGirl Commercial Evah! So good in fact, it made Tyra faux-faint. She really was good and those large eyes of hers are a perfect canvas for that gaudy line of shade. Elina and Joslyn face Miss Tyra for the showdown. Elina narrowly edges out Joslyn mainly because she has been holding steady whereas Joslyn has been moving backwards. I would have preferred Joslyn stay and Miss Attitude go, but Elina does deliver better photos.

Next week they're on location in Amsterdam, specifically the red light district. That should be interesting.