America's Next Top Model
Cycle 11 Episode 10

Our lovely ladies land in Amsterdam and are given a challenge right off the bat. They are met by Holland's Next Top Model, Daphne Decker, who tells them they have to find their house by successfully navigating through the streets of the city and finding pay phones which lead them to the next clue. The host tells them to pair off and Elina latches on to Samantha like her life depended on it. Marjorie and Analeigh are joined at the hip already so that leaves Sheena and McKey. Marjorie and Analeigh start out shaky but end up second to Elina and Samantha who are at the house for a while before Sheena and McKey run up all excited thinking they arrived first. Daphne seemed all too delighted to let them know that they were dead last.

The house is a beautiful thing. It has an open floor plan with lots of natural light. Elina says it reminders her of her homeland and pines for the old country again. Queue eyeroll from Samantha. I really don't blame Sam though, I'm way past sick of hearing about it, too. Her attitude makes me remember something my mother once told me. People that long for things in their past are unhappy with their life in the present. I think that definition suits Elina all over (end armchair psychoanalysis.)

Next up is our challenge. We viewers are teased that it is going to be in the red light district of Amsterdam which is renown around the world for legalized prostitution. Samantha is offended and think the practice degrades women. Elina sees nothing wrong with it. I was left wondering if Elina has turned a couple tricks in her time or was just saying stuff to get under Sam's skin. The world may never know.

The girls meet Mr. Jay in the red light district and it is explained that there is a project in Amsterdam to try to put a better face on the brothels. Do we get the girls in naughty clothes looking slutty? Nope, to my husband's dismay the girls are divvied up into pairs again and forced to wear ugly clothes and pose in the windows usually reserved for real working women. Mckey is paired with Sam and the designer's vision is that they are dolls. They do a good job and Sam makes the designer crack up when she grabs a set prop and poses with it. Marjorie and Sheena were paired up for the Euro-edgy look. Marjorie did the hunchback, point her elbows at you thing which the designers raved over and Sheena did her hoochie thing which gains her nothing from a pair of gay men. Sheena, girl, you are playing to the wrong crowd. Analeigh and Elina get the draw of the ugliest and most difficult clothing to wear and model. Elina promptly stuck her trusty stick up her butt and modeled like a mannequin and Analeigh spent most of her time trying to get the set decorations out of her hair and dress. It was pretty clear that as a pair Samantha and McKey were the best. As the winners of this challenge they get to come back and walk the runway for Amerdam's Fashion Week. Nice prize – way to go, girls.

Whitney's weekly CoverGirl ad delivers the expected yawn. We haven't had an entertaining CG ad cycle since Jaslene.

Photo shoot naturally follows. Our competitors are introduced to their prop this week which turns out to be an awesome schooner which showcases Holland's close ties to the seafaring life. Our girls wear 18th century inspired garments and hang off the railing and pose their little hearts out to get the shot. McKey, Analeigh and Marjorie take to the shoot like a duck to water. Samantha takes a while to find her groove and Elina completely ignores Mr. Jay's direction and looks lifeless and bored. Sheena was the highlight of the evening when she channeled Cher and turned the yardarm into a giant phallus. Mr. Jay chided her for not looking modelesque and I agreed with him that in that particular pose, she was looking pornesque, but I don't agree with him that High Fashion doesn't have vulgar poses. Have you bought a Cosmo or Marie Claire, lately?

Our Top Model in Action was Katarzyna from Cycle 10 (and my personal fav from that Cycle) who signed with Elite Model Management which turned this gorgeous young woman into something akin to the Bride of Frankenstein but, hey - that's fashion!

Panel! We relive the brothel challenge and have a "what not to wear" moment with Samantha. Tyra went on and on that Samantha looked terrible. Maybe she was a little boring, but nothing that bad. McKey was wearing a dress that would have been a disaster on anyone else, but it worked on her. McKey looks so completely different on film than she does in panel. In front of the judges McKey has bad posture, bobs her head and appears to have a big overbite. Give her a pair of white gloves and a funny hat and she could be Mrs. Goofy, huh-yuck. However, Marjorie has got to have the worst posture of the bunch and has never been called out for it (or if she has, I missed it!) I desperately want to take Elina's stick and strap Marjorie's shoulders to it.

Elina and Sheena are left facing Tyra. Who gets shipped home - the stick or the hoochie? I guess Holland just isn't ready for all that Sheena has to give. Elina hangs on for another round. She must be close to a record for the most appearances in the bottom two. Hopefully, next week will be the charm.